The Copywriter’s Curse

I do it in the shower.
I do it on a plane.
I do it when I’m shopping.
I do it on the train.

Forever reading sentences and noticing mistakes.
On billboards, signs and brochures, even packaging of cakes.
Surprised at all the laziness, so amazed by every fault.
Like an upper P on Pepper but a lower s on salt.

Sighing at adverts when apostrophes are wrong.
Tutting when I hear some dodgy grammar in a song.
Analysing leaflets that get posted through my door.
Scanning cafe menus like a deeply unsocial bore.

Even when your writing is technically good,
But fails to engage me as much as it should,
My mind will explore how I could write it better,
Getting the most out of every single letter.

You may think I’m pedantic,
A language-shaming snob.
Or just another know-it-all,
A grammar nazi knob.

I’ll happily admit that I’m also sometimes lazy,
‘Cos checking every Tweet could really send you crazy.
But if you’re a household brand, sending messages to the nation,
A careless typo here and there can wreck your reputation.

So the next time you send me stuff,
Please know I’m going to read it.
And if, by chance, you’ve fucked it up,
I’m probably going to Tweet it.

And remember if you get it right,
I give credit where it’s due.
I’ll screenshot stuff that makes me smile,
And tell other people too.

Good or bad, I will take note,
The best and worst I’ll share.
I am a copywriter,
And I do it ‘cos I care.